Ah, Mercury retrograde, the cosmic signal for exes to crawl out of the woodwork like clockwork. It’s like the universe flips a switch, and suddenly every ghost from relationships past decides it’s the perfect time to hit send on that ‘Hey, long time no see’ text.

And why does this happen? Well, Mercury rules communication, technology, and travel, and when it goes retrograde, everything in those realms tends to go haywire. So, of course, your ex’s sudden urge to reach out is just another delightful side effect of Mercury’s cosmic mischief.

So, what text might you expect to receive based on your ex’s zodiac sign?

Aries: “Hey, remember when we used to argue about everything? Good times. Miss you… kinda.”

Taurus: “Just thought you should know I finally found someone who appreciates my stubbornness. Sorry, it’s not you.”

Gemini: “You’ll NEVER guess what I heard…”

Cancer: “I’m craving some of your homemade comfort food… Can we be friends with benefits… emotionally?”

Leo: “I’m just checking in to make sure you’re still not over me.”

Virgo: “I’ve been organizing my life lately, and I realized you were always the messiest part of it. Miss your chaos.”

Libra: “Remember how we used to tip the scales? Let’s meet up and see if we can still find that perfect equilibrium… horizontally.”

Scorpio: “Can’t get our old secrets out of my mind. How about we meet up and exchange some more forbidden knowledge?”

Sagittarius: “WYD?”

Capricorn: “Let’s schedule a ‘meeting’ to discuss our ‘performance reviews’… and maybe some other ‘critical feedback.'”

Aquarius “I have these great theories about UFO cover-ups, and I can’t help but think you’d appreciate them. Let’s catch up and brainstorm… or something.”

Pisces: “Missing you 🥹”