Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we spent the week with family and friends. As we made our way home on a three-hour car ride, we stopped for a bathroom and snack break at the infamous Buc-ee’s gas station. As we wandered around, searching for the perfect snack, my five-year-old daughter, Mia, ran up to me giggling and said, “Mommy! There’s people here in their pajamas!” To which I responded, “I know! Isn’t that silly?!” Afterall, what do you say to a five-year-old who points out the obvious and knows what a room full of adults should know: that wearing pajamas in public is inappropriate. 

We have a crisis of decorum in dress in our country. Gone are the days when people took pride in their appearance and dressed well for all occasions. One need only to head to the nearest public space to see evidence of this crisis. What amounts to pajamas is now considered appropriate daily wear. The days of ladies in beautiful dresses and gentlemen in suits for just a normal Tuesday are behind us. 

Last week, the United States Secretary of Transportation, Sean Duffy, shined national attention on this crisis in his interview with Fox News regarding behavior in air travel these days. He said, “People dress up like they’re going to bed when they fly.” He rightly connects how we dress with how we behave: 

We should say please and thank you to our pilots and our flight attendants…dressing with some respect. Whether it’s a pair of jeans and a decent shirt, I would encourage people to maybe dress a little better, which encourages us to maybe behave a little better. 

He’s not wrong, and I’m thrilled to see this topic move to the forefront of the national discussion.

I first became aware of this crisis about six or seven years ago. I was walking in a public space somewhere and saw two figures walking in my direction. I had no idea if these two individuals were two men, two women, or a man and a woman. I especially didn’t know that this moment would turn my feminine worldview on its head and change my perspective forever. 

As they got closer, I was able to determine that they were, in fact, a man and a woman—and that they were dressed very similarly. They both wore a version of the typical American uniform: shorts, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. I don’t know what it was about that moment, or those outfits, but in an instant, it struck me how androgynous and sloppy our society has become. We can no longer tell the difference between men and women from very basic things like clothing and presentation.  They both wore a version of the typical American uniform: shorts, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. I don’t know what it was about that moment, or those outfits, but in an instant, it struck me how androgynous and sloppy our society has become.Tweet This

Immediately, I decided that I no longer want to be a part of contributing to society in that direction. From that time on, I decided to dress for the culture I want. I have chosen to get dressed nicely every day—even if I will be home all day with my five children, homeschooling and keeping house.

What is this crisis in the decorum of dress in society? When did it start? And why has it gotten so bad? Those are questions I won’t go into in depth here, but in my friend Catherine Rose’s book, A Return to Beauty, she explores this topic in depth and proposes that we no longer dress well as a society because we no longer know that we were made in the image and likeness of God and dress accordingly. 

Decorum in dress refers to clothing that is appropriate, proper, and fitting for a given situation, setting, or culture. It essentially means dressing in a way that shows respect for yourself, for others, and for the occasion. Because we have forgotten our value, we have forgotten how to dress in a way that is proper to our dignity as images of God. 

After witnessing the two distant images emerge from obscurity, I felt a deep desire to embrace and help restore decorum in public spaces—and, in particular, to help revive a sense of femininity among women in America. It was as if all the cultural issues surrounding gender confusion converged in that moment and compelled me to respond.

I know I can’t do much; my primary calling in this season of life is to live quietly and faithfully, keeping my home and caring for my husband and children. But I can do something in my small corner of the world. I can wake up each day and dress in a beautiful, feminine way, even if I never leave the house and only my husband and children see me. By how we dress, we can remind others (and ourselves) that our lives matter, that we are made in God’s image, and that we possess inherent dignity and value.

I can hold my children to a higher standard in dress, teaching them to care about how they present themselves and to do so with excellence. I can show my family, through my own appearance, that what I do for them is meaningful and that the life we share can be simple, beautiful, and done well.

After dressing well every day, for every occasion, I can say without a doubt that the way one dresses truly affects one’s behavior, mood, and overall experience of life. My sweet little family and I can transform society and restore beauty, one day, one outfit, one small act of intention at a time.