Hello, citizens of Panem! Our great leader, President Donald Trump has announced a new series of festivities in 2026!

Pool / Getty Images

In a new video announcement, Trump outlined “Freedom 250,” a “celebration of America like no other” to mark the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Highlights include a UFC fight at the White House and the construction of an arc in DC (apparently, “We are the only major place without a triumphal arc, a beautiful triumphal arc, one like in Paris”). According to Trump, “Construction will start in the very near future, and next spring, we will host a major prayer event on the National Mall to rededicate our country as one nation under God. We’re not changing that. A lot of people would like to see it. It’ll never happen.” Swell!

Freedom 250

However, it’s the announcement of the “Patriot Games” that had a lot of people making the same pesky comment. Trump said, “In the fall, we will host the first-ever Patriot Games, an unprecedented four-day athletic event featuring the greatest high school athletes, one young man and one young woman from each state and territory.”

Freedom 250

Lest that not be enough, Trump then made an anti-trans jab about children: “I promise there will be no men playing in women’s sports. You’re not going to see that.”

Now, does this sound a little similar to the plotline of “The Hunger Games?” Uhh...

“The Hunger Games” DID NOT START TRENDING ON X LOOK AWAY FROM THAT.

I’m sure it’ll be as seamless and riveting as the 250th birthday of the US Army military parade!

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