We are born believing that happiness lies on one side of every pair. Praise instead of blame. Pleasure instead of pain. Gain instead of loss. Victory instead of defeat. In this talk, Pema Chödrön explains the Buddhist teaching of the Eight Worldly Dharmas, and why chasing the good half of life will never make you happy. It is not that those things bring no gratification. As a friend told her, this teaching would sell like hotcakes if there were never any satisfaction in the highs. But there is. Buying something beautiful and new feels wonderful. It just does not add up. Every high has a kind of hangover. So the Buddha taught that the real root of happiness is something else entirely: living in a way where your mind and heart open up and include all of it, victory and defeat, pleasure and pain, loss and gain. Not struggling to force everything into the column of praise and gain and pleasure, but being able to embrace the whole of it. That is the ground of Maitri, unconditional friendship with yourself, an unshakable sense of being at home in your own body and your own world. And Maitri only deepens. One of its main qualities, Pema says, is honesty with yourself, which is genuinely hard because you do not know when you are lying to yourself. You have blind spots. She shares a story from just that week. A weekend alone with her beloved six-year-old granddaughter forced her to give up the self-deception that she did not have much aggression. She lost it. And moving closer to that feeling, rather than judging it, she saw the deeper deception underneath: the embarrassment of being the spiritual teacher everyone comes to, bribing the child, this is just between you and Grandma, don't tell anyone. That, she says, with honesty and a sense of humor about ourselves, is exactly where compassion begins. With compassion for yourself. Want to go deeper with Pema Chödrön? Join Sounds True One for more teachings like this. Get your first month FREE at https://bit.ly/4ctecMn Subscribe to Sounds True's YouTube Channel ► https://bit.ly/SubscribeSTYT Sounds True is a mission-driven learning and media company, and a recognized leader in wellbeing, personal growth, and spiritual transformation. Partnering with the world’s foremost wisdom teachers and best-selling authors, the company reaches millions worldwide with its unique programs, digital learning experiences, and worldwide events. The company also features a variety of original series, weekly shows, and live online experiences on Sounds True One, its global platform and community with members across more than 125 countries. Sounds True is a Public Benefit Corporation and also the home of the Sounds True Foundation. Connect with us: ▪️Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE ▪️Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH ▪️Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d